I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The struggles of a small town man whore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize