discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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