ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
