Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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