Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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