I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
