I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
