at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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