I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Houston, we have a blender
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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