I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
