Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
