i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
