I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
