belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
