capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
