He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
