hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
