It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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