the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
