Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize