we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
