Don't you send me to vm
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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