I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
