Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
