We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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