Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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