Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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