I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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