Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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