Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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