my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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