So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Damn victory sex feels great
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
