You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Boobs speak an international language.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
