you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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