literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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