Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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