when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
