she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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