Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
