I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
