Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
