this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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