yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
