Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
