you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You may now shotgun with the bride
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
