It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
