butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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