Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
