So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
