P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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