I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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