Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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