White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
