I look better un-naked...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
