is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
