just tell him i said nine months
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
